Being back out has been difficult for me.  I have been sick for the past few days and frustrated with some of my own behaviors and weaknesses.  But the point of the struggle seems to be coming home to me in the idea of humility.

Before I left, I had a great conversation with a friend (who drove me to the aiport) about humility.  This 'virtue' that is highly esteemed in some circles and complete nonsense in regards to the way that most of us (myself included) life on a daily basis.  Some of my recent encounters with the reality of humility have been facilitated by these quotes...

"...let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight"                                     
~ Jeremiah 9:24

The pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching.
If there is an itch one does want to scratch;
But it is much nicer to have neither the itch nor the scratch.         
~ C.S. Lewis

A man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed.  Nowadays the part of a man that a man does assert is exactly the part he oughnt not to assert - himself.  The part he doubts is exactly the part he ought not to doubt - The Divine Reason. 
~ G. K. Chesterton

    
If Christ is the bread of Life and our pride is the vice that keeps us from enjoying that sustenance, it is our brokenness that grows a distaste for our own strength, and humility that allows us to trust Him instead and begin to eat fully. 

Paul said that his weakness was his strength.  That is beginning to make sense to me.  My methods and my strength are increasingly detestable to me, and this might seem like a hopeless place to be.  I have found it to be frustrating for sure.  But it is also a gift.  And a wonderful thing, because it is an opportunity to trust Christ and see him glorified.  The more that I find my self futile, the more I desire to see His glory, because he is my hope. 

Joe and I went out to lunch today for our day off and he mentioned the fact that God could remedy all wrongs in Africa as soon as he wanted to.  He could raise up people there with resources who were just and full of love and give them power.  He could go a more sensational route and speak miracles all over the continent and make all right in an instant.  But for some reason, for a time, he is giving people like us ('us' as in you to, Reader) a chance to join Him in His good work.  God is an Unfathomable Mystery to be feared.  Sometimes I think, 'Who is this God so jealous for His Glory that he would spend human life for It's sake?'  Other times I think, 'What is human life, that it would be so valued as to be spent in the Glory of Almighty God?'

Another friend made me a journal for the road filled with Scripture and quotes.  Today's was Jeremiah 26:14

"As for me, I am in your hands; do with me whatever you think is good and right."

As I read it I remember that God is the "Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth," and it is peace to me to be in His hands and to trust in all that he is doing and, though I am broken, to rejoice in the place he has given me to understand and know a small portion more of his heart.

-David